It's like: Ketchup on a Filet Migon, Jeans at the Opera, or Chocolate-covered Roaches: its simply just not meant to be.
Good, real coffee is not expensive. A genuine Five-star hotel certainly wouldn't try to pass off fake steak for real steak or grape juice as wine so can't they finish the overall experience with some real whole bean 100% Arabica Coffee. Is that too much to ask?
Deviously the hotel I stayed at last week put a french press in our room to give the illusion of real coffee. But alas the instant coffee they provided has no need for a french press as it dissolves it's sludge-like smoothness right into the hot water without the aid of the french apparatus.