the Chinese bandits

No President Obama has not begun marketing a Chinese "BlockBerry" in his free time around the White House. This advertisement is just another masterpiece from the “Chinese Bandits.”

The Chinese Bandits are known as Shanzhai (山寨) companies that have moved beyond the world of merely copying ideas and products to begin dabbling in the world of creativity. The Chinese have long been known for their expertise and mastery of copying ideas and products. Shanzhai (山寨) refers to Chinese knock-0ff or pirated brands which have become increasingly common in electronics. Literally "mountain village" or "mountain stronghold", the term refers to the mountain stockades of warlords or thieves, far away from official control.

Even entire websites have been dedicated to this world of knock off phones. Featured recently is the iPhone F9 M-Smart on www.shanzhaiji.cn.

Not exactly the most realistically Apple logo.

These companies have begun to see opportunities in the marketplace and are trying to capitalize on creating products and services that can meet specific needs of the consumers. For example, adding two slots for SIM cards in cell phone for businesspeople traveling between Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Mainland. Some phones can even identify fake money, or include loud speakers for farmers who have trouble hearing their phones.

"This is an important way to cultivate grassroots innovation," said Jack Linchuan Liu, a communications professor at Chinese University of Hong Kong who has studied the shanzhai industry.

"There is a lot of raw power in the development of these bandit phones that could be channeled into normal, productive creativity from the bottom up."

The key is that this energy or power is channeled into normal, productive creativity instead of just illegally copying of ideas and products. There is still a long way to go.

If you have ever read "Rivertown" by Peter Hessler, a great read about life in China, then you might remember his referencing of Shanzhai culture in Chinese society starting on page 258.

The demand for Nalgene-knockoff bottles was much more understandable, especially in a tea-drinking city like Chengdu, where the bottles spread quickly throughout the city's social strata. They were first acquired by cab drivers, who tended to be at the forefront of such trends - cabbies had a certain maverick quality, as well as plenty of money. After that, the businessmen followed suit, and then xiaojies, and finally by summer even the old people in the teahouses were sipping their tea out of fake Nalgene bottles. Soon you could buy them for twenty yuan in any Sichuan city or town.

The bottles came with a label that described them as American-developed Taikong Pingzi - Outer Space Bottles. But they were clearly the product of Chinese factories, because they weren't quite standard and often the label was misspelled. In that regard things hadn't changed greatly from the seventeenth century, when a Spanish priest named Domingo Navarrete described the business methods in China. "The Chinese are very ingenious at imitation," he wrote. "They have imitated to perfection whatsoever they have seen brought out of Europe. In the Province of Canton (Guangdong) they have counterfeited several things so exactly, that they sell them Inland for Goods brought out from Europe."

The amazing thing about this Shanzhai trend is how much of the global market it entails. Out of the 1.15 billion cell phones sold worldwide in 2007 over 150 million of those were Shanzhai. Thats over 10% of worldwide sales and that data was the officially reported amount from the Chinese government (so it could be even higher.) And this is only one area of the "Chinese bandits" work... cell phones.

China News Update- Organ Donor System

From CNN:

China has launched an organ donation system that it hopes will eliminate illegal organ trading and encourage people to become donors, according to reports in China's state-run media.

Health officials will start promoting the system in 10 provinces and cities, including China's largest city of Shanghai and the prosperous southern region of Guangdong.

Donating organs is not a widespread practice in China. Officials said last year, only 36 people donated organs -- out of a population of 1.3 billion.

The organ donation program -- which was unveiled on Tuesday -- will be "in line with the national conditions and international ethics," China's Deputy Health Minister Huang Jiefu said, according to Xinhua News Agency.

China has long relied on executed prisoners as its main source of organs for those in need of transplants, drawing widespread condemnation from international human rights groups.

That system failed to address the needs of the more than 1.5 million people in China who are in need of an organ transplant, according to the Chinese Medical Association's deputy director for transplanting.

"The huge shortage of organ donors and organs has created a significant black market for organs, which in turn has ruined public faith and willingness to donate organs," Chen Zhonghua told China's Global Times newspaper.

"There are already signs of backlash, with the nationwide number [of donations] falling last year to 36, from 41 the previous year, and only about 10 cases so far this year."

Only 11,000 transplant operations -- from both living and deceased donors -- are performed each year, according to Chen. More than 90 percent of those organs come from executed prisoners, according to the United Nations' World Health Organization.

In 2007, China introduced new regulations which banned organ trading and trafficking, and cracked down on "transplant tourism" by non-Chinese nationals.

W.H.O. praised the new regulations in a report released in December. W.H.O. said China has also made an effort to ensure that "altruism," and not financial compensation, is "the driving principle" for organ donors.

China's new regulations "have successfully established baseline requirements for medical institutions to do transplantations," W.H.O. said. The reforms have also led to a significant decrease in the number of organ transplants from cadavers, it added.

According to the W.H.O., "the number of living-related organ transplants [increased] by more than 100 percent in China in 2007."

Chen and other Chinese health officials hope the new organ donation system will help increase the number of organ donors, which is about 0.03 donors per 1 million people.

Only 130 organ transplants have ever been performed in China using donors who consented to have their organs used after their death, Chen said. He conceded that it will be a massive task to get China's organ donation program in line with other countries, such as Spain, which has 34 deceased donors per million -- the world's highest rate.

"It will take China five to 10 years to raise the number to 0.3 in 1 million people," Chen estimated.

Maybe Coffee shops do grow on trees

I have said it before and I am sure I will say it again but Chicago Coffee added two more coffee shop neighbors bringing our small residential area to a total of 5 or 6. Coffee shops are definitely the in thing among Chinese business types. We still have a long way to go before it reaches the tea house level but this is starting to get out of control. I will have to go and check and make sure nobody has blatantly copied our menu or ideas or something like that. Never can be too careful.

The Standoff

Sometimes I wonder if sharing what really goes on here in China comes across as overly negative. But honestly doing business in China, especially in Kunming, fosters an overwhelming amount of crazy situations... most of them detrimental to running a successful business.

Evidence #5043 The Standoff

Purchased a new coffee roaster 6 weeks back and the delivery was made Friday night. Besides it being a few weeks late, totally expected, and it growing to a much larger size than advertised the roaster had finally arrived. The delivery company arrived with the roaster but instead of the team of deliverers that was promised only a man and his wife jumped out of the truck.

Now for those not in the coffee business, roasters are heavy duty pieces of equipment. A large commercial roaster is pounds and pounds of solid metal. The main unit on our new one is over 500 lbs. So its not molecular science but two people are not capable of moving it down off a 4 foot truck bed and then 50 feet into our location. Their explanation:

"its just the two of us because its your responsibility to have the people available to get this roaster off the truck"

Ahh yes. Nothing is more delightful than a complete change in what was promised. But without proper notice it is almost impossible to be prepared with 10 people to help move a roaster that late at night.

"ok well we've done our part of getting it here so we would like to be paid now and we will be on our way"

Besides the obvious complication of driving off before we can get the goods of the truck, we have the problem of a delivery company being satisfied with delivering it 80% of the way. I am not an employee of FedEx or UPS but I am pretty sure its standard procedure to put the goods into the care of the customer before leaving.

So we call the delivery company boss. We explain that they told us they would have 5 or 6 people come along to help deliver the machine. We need them to come back tomorrow when something can be arranged.

"Click"

The hang-up. All of my favorite customer service techniques are being used in full force. Chinese business people have no trouble hanging up on you. It saves them the trouble of explaining themselves or saying something like "we will take care of that for you." So here we are stuck in an Old Western style standoff. Their side not willing to budge or help at all and our side with no means of finding a solution to this quandary.

The delivery company asks for their money again.

So we decide to begin working our way out of this mess by inviting a nearby man, hailing from Sichuan province, to invite 7 of his friends to come move the roaster for a decent sum of money. One hour passes.

We get delivery company boss back on the phone to inquire about the fork lift that the driver said they used to get the roaster onto the truck that morning.

"It's too expensive"

I see. We put a call into the roaster manufacturer and find out that it would be dangerous to try to get the roaster off the truck without a fork lift. Back on with the delivery company boss.

"We didn't use a forklift. We did it with just 4 guys. Real easy."

Not true but oh well. "Water pipe Zhou", the old man with an adjacent Mahjong parlor who is constantly gargling his nicotine fix through his gigantic water pipe, chimes in.

"Back in the day, me and one other guy could have handled that roaster no problem"

Unless he was 350 lbs of pure physique back then instead of the 11o he is holding down now, then I have trouble seeing that as a possibility. Bless his heart though as he is always offering advice when I venture over there.

Another hour passes and the 8 Sichuan men arrive finally ready to help us out. The drivers once again asked to be paid immediately. They are informed that they will be paid but not until the goods are actually "delivered."

I can't describe that amazing feat that those 8 Sichuan men pulled off but here is a small glimpse of the easier final stretch of getting the machine all the way into the room after somehow slowly lowering it off the truck bed. Keep in mind that the moment the roaster was inches away from the truck bed the drivers began asking for money again ignoring the fact that I was a little preoccupied with whether or not my roaster was going to fall and put a dent in the earth.

After 4 hours the roaster was finally nestled away and most everyone went home happy.

Coffee Calories

From Men's Health:

Americans have a drug problem: We’re hooked on caffeine. In fact, about 75 percent of American adults drink at least one cup of coffee each day. Several studies have shown that drinking coffee might help offset dementia and Alzheimer’s — unfortunately, these brain-boosting cups of java are simultaneously wreaking havoc on other parts of our bodies. Fancy frozen concoctions, added flavors teeming with sugar, and super-sized receptacles all mean that the average cup o’ Joe has increased from 45 calories 20 years ago, to 330 calories today.

...

Worst summer treat: Cold Stone Creamery Gotta-Have-It-sized Lotta Caramel Latte

1,790 calories; 90 grams fat (57 grams saturated, 2.5 grams trans); 175 grams sugar

That’s the caloric equivalent of 10 slices of Pizza Hut Thin ‘n’ Crispy Ham and Pineapple pizza!

Don’t be fooled because Cold Stone calls this outrageous beverage a “latte.” It’s a coffee-flavored shake, pure and simple. Only problem is that it’s loaded with almost as many calories as you should eat in an entire day. Avoid the entire shake line at Cold Stone. You’re safer with actual coffee, or a couple scoops of sinless ice cream. (Extra tip: Avoid all foods in this slideshow:

All the more reason to follow my coffee guide for newbies and start adjusting to drinking coffee in its purest form... black. Calories in a cup of coffee: 5. To drink the equivalent of a Cold Stone Creamery Gotta-Have-It Latte you would have to drink 5000 oz of black coffee or nearly 40 gallons. That's a small swimming pool.

New Offering- Mayan Breakfast Blend

The Mayan Breakfast Blend boasts a good first impression of berry overtones and an even body by blending beans from Costa Rica and Peru. A perfect blend for that morning cup of joe.

Coffee Drinking for Newbies

Coffee is certainly an acquired taste. For those that have not been enlightened try this lineup to slowly get your feet wet.

Mocha Frappe (all the coffee you need but with Chocolate dominating the taste buds)

Coffee Frappe (still enough sugar, milk, and ice to hold the coffee at bay)

Mocha (see Mocha Frappe)

Latte (Espresso balanced wonderfully with steamed or iced milk)

Coffee with fixings (although not recommended, fixings can help you adjust to black coffee)

Black Coffee (only by consuming it black can you taste the complexity and subtleties of a good cup of coffee) *requires fresh high quality coffee beans

Iced Espresso with Sugar (takes the edge off)

Espresso shot (straight and unencumbered)

Espresso consumed intravenously

Alternative Theory for Shady Business

Seen a lot of shady stuff in my 5 plus years here. Let's just say the standards here are sometimes morally challenged. There are many reasons for this and probably some very good theories that explain this behavior but let me add one to the discussion.

Its the 100 RMB bank note.

Its pinkish hue may give off an aura of innocence but because this note has the rough value of $14 USD and that 95% of all businesses in China still don't except any payment besides cash, it causes quite a dilemma. Sure it works just fine when going to the supermarket but have you ever tried to buy something expensive when your largest available denomination is only worth $14.

Try going to a U.S. car dealer and plopping down huge stacks of $10's to get into that new car. But in China it is expected that you carry huge stacks of cash to pay for larger purchases. A purchase equivalent of $10,000 requires a stack of nearly 700 ¥100 notes. The average Zhang (Joe) needs a briefcase of some sort just to move around manageable amounts of cash.

You start looking over your shoulder to make sure nobody is eyeing your cash.

You get nervous.

Your palms get a little sweaty.

Your heart begins pounding faster and faster.

Your reflexes heighten.

Before you know it you start getting the sense that you are doing something wrong... something shady. Harmless semi-regular activities begin to feel like more and more like shady business deals or some other potentially inappropriate activity because normally the only people that carry around large sums of unmarked cash are the people doing shady business deals and the like.

Perhaps when these nervous feelings occur frequently during harmless activities your conscience begins reading these feelings as 'normal' or 'accepted.' This becomes a problem when people do begin to dabble in 'shady' things because the normally protective conscience that usually throws up red flags at the first sign of trouble, now sits back in hibernation because these feelings are much too commonplace.

Maybe the ¥100 note is not the sole reason for shady business but I can't help but think it is a contributor.

China News Update- Holes in the Green Dam

From the New York Times:

Photo: www.smh.com.au

BEIJING — So far this week, the World Trade Organization has rebuffed China in an important case involving Chinese restrictions on imported books and movies. The Chinese government dropped explosive espionage charges against executives of a foreign mining giant, the Anglo-Australian Rio Tinto, after a global corporate outcry. And on Thursday, the government said it had backed off another contentious plan to install censorship software on all new computers sold here.

Throughout its long economic boom, China has usually managed to separate its aggressive push into the global business arena from domestic politics, which remained tightly controlled by the Communist Party. But events this week raise the question of just how long it will be before the two meet.

In each of those matters, politics and business collided, and business won. Business does not always win, and when it does, as in these cases, the reasons are as often as not a matter of guesswork. But in at least some high-profile matters, China appears to be facing the reality that the outside business world can be freewheeling and defiant when its profits are threatened. And so China’s authoritarian system may also have to evolve in ways its top leaders may not readily endorse.

Beijing has a global footprint now, a consequence of its booming domestic growth and breakneck international expansion. And decisions that once were made on purely parochial grounds — like censoring Web sites, protecting the interests of its state-owned companies and restricting the flow of foreign news and entertainment into China — now have international ramifications.

Definitely some good news. There is enough blocked already.

Chicago Coffee- The TV Show

Coffee shops and cafes have long been the backdrop for Tv shows and the like.

Monk's Cafe from Seinfeld

Central Perk from Friends

And now Chicago Coffee ...

Yunnan TV has become filming a 100+ episode show using Chicago Coffee as a regular backdrop for some of their story. As the show begins to air we hope to have more media and info about their time in Chicago Coffee.

Macintosh Revolution- Dare I?

I have long been a PC guy and an anti-Mac guy. I have long sung the praises of the PC life and ignored the curses I utter when I am reinstalling Windows. I am no longer sure that PC is the way anymore. I mean look at this beauty....

Well I am sure they have newer versions out but you get the point. Its really the Iphone's doing if I were to speak honestly. Its fancy dragon slaying and nifty humdingers. That addictive little thing.

In many ways my laptop is my life source as it keeps me connected back home as well as manage the in's and out's of my business. But I don't think I can take one more of these...


because all it causes is more of these...


Please weigh in if you have an opinion because seriously this Ad might just push me over the edge and I am not so sure I am opposed to that anymore.

Shenzhen Airlines- in need of a bailout

I don't want to heap more coals but Shenzhen Airlines has done it again. I look the other way when small companies do things a little differently than I would do it but an airline company with personal vendettas against their customers!

Booked a flight to Shenzhen last week but had to adjust the return flight due to circumstances out of my control. I simply want to change from a Sunday flight on Shenzhen Airlines to a Monday flight on Shenzhen Airlines. I call my booking agency and they can't make the change because Shenzhen Airlines only allows Shenzhen Airlines to alter bookings once they are made. Fine. A phone number is given and I begin talking to the reps at Shenzhen Airlines. Turns out they, Shenzhen Airlines, don't have the ability to change flights either. Why? No particular reason. But turns out the only way to alter anything on a booked flight is to go directly to the Shenzhen Airline office at the airport????? I am sorry but I am not taking a taxi across the city to make a simple change on my booking which they would have charged me a few hundred RMB to have done anyways. But here's what I did do, I canceled my flight all together and booked a new one on Air China which despite the 84 RMB cancellation fee, ended up saving me 16 RMB because my new flight on Air China ended up being 100 RMB cheaper than my previous Shenzhen Airlines flight. I explained this to Shenzhen Airlines to give them a chance to keep my booking and redeem themselves. Not interested. Didn't bother them much that they were going to lose the entire booking to a competitor. Unfathomable.

You may be thinking why does he keep booking and dealing with Shenzhen Airlines. I may despise their tactics but when you have to fly often to Shenzhen and you fly on a budget then you are almost always going to choose the cheapest flight...which 99% of the time is Shenzhen Airlines. Believe me if I had another choice... I would take it.

Of course, my hand may be forced if I end up getting black listed.

China News Update- China Bans Bad Breath, Scars in Space

From Fox News:

Bad breath can disqualify you from becoming an astronaut in China, but even if your breath is minty-fresh, you won't be seeing orbit unless your wife says you can go.

Candidates for China's manned space program must be cavity-free and have no history of head colds or sore throats. In fact, candidates must show there has been no serious disease in the family going back three generations, Sina.com reported.

"Bad body odor will affect the colleagues in the narrow confines of a space shuttle," Shi Binbin, a doctor with the 454th Air Force Hospital in the east Chinese city of Nanjing, told AFP.

Preliminary tests are being conducted on potential candidates. A hospital employee at the No. 454 Hospital told China Daily Sunday that 100 fighter pilots with college degrees were among the hopefuls being tested at the hospital, according to Sina.com.

China's future astronauts must also be scar-free.

"Scars on the body, for example, might burst and bleed when spaceships are accelerating," Shi told Sina.com.

Stringent requirements, he said, will help make sure the astronauts can handle the harsh environment of space.

"The candidates who go through all the tests and meet all the requirements can really be called super-human beings," Shi said.

And the lucky few who qualify will have one final obstacle to overcome — their wives. If a potential astronaut's wife does not want him going to space, he will not be allowed to enter the program, Sina.com reported.

I guess this sounds reasonable but seriously how long is it going to take to have this standard applied to other means of transportation i.e. buses and subways.

Summers in China: TV Show Recommendation

In America, summer time is the season of going to a baseball game, grilling outside, eating hot dogs, fresh squeezed lemonade, sunburns, trips to the zoo, outdoor concerts, and the like. In China, not so much. We have done our fair share of grilling but from the confines of our apartment balcony. Not sure if that's what Weber grills were designed for. For most of you, there is no time or no need for a good TV show recommendation during the warm summer months but for those of us with days that revolve around when the elevator is going to be powered off or what kitchen appliance/shoddy electric work will break down or start a fire... this one is for you. I highly recommend Burn Notice on the USA network Thursday nights at 10pm (or any time you want to download it for those of us overseas.) A great show about the life of being a spy. I don't understand why there are 10 CSI's and 20 Law and Orders but so few spy shows. Everybody dreams of being a spy.

the Breaking Point

From gokunming.com:

(Kunming) Early in the evening this past Sunday, shoppers passing near the Xinhua Bookstore on Nanping Jie may have noticed a bloodied young man laying on the ground between roughly 5:30 and 8:00 pm.

image: news.kunming.cn

Who beat up this man and left him injured on the street? According to witnesses interviewed by local paper Shenghuo Xinbao (aka Life Times), the man had been beaten by plainclothes chengguan (城管) – literally 'city management' – the government employees who are charged with keeping the streets free of unlicensed commerce.

The man, Yuan Bangjin (袁帮金, pictured above), moved to Kunming from Sichuan in January of this year after a tragic 2008 in which the May 12 Wenchuan earthquake killed his wife and destroyed his shop. According to the Shenghuo Xinbao article, Yuan barely had more than a photo of his deceased wife when he arrived in Kunming.

According to Tong Dahong (童大洪), a friend of Yuan's, the two men had been playing cards with others before returning to Nanping Jie, where Tong was flogging goods at a makeshift street stall. When the chengguan arrived, Tong fled, leaving Yuan to face the chengguan alone.

The chengguan reportedly mistook Yuan for an illegal street vendor, leading to a quarrel that quickly turned violent, according to onlookers quoted in the Shenghuo Xinbao report.

"We change shifts at three, afterward I was sitting in our [chengguan] kiosk the whole time, we did not beat anyone – furthermore we didn't wear plainclothes today," Chengguan captain Yu Bing (余兵) told Shenghuo Xinbao.

"If you're going to say we're beating people, you need photographic evidence," Yu added. "At present we've undergone an investigation and we have no responsibility whatsoever.

A woman working near the Xinhua Bookstore on Nanping Jie told Shenghuo Xinbao a very different story. The woman, who did not give her name, said she and her coworker both saw plainclothes chengguan beat Yuan.

"[Chengguan] come here everyday, frequently in plainclothes," she said. "I know exactly what they look like."

After being taken to a hospital for treatment, Yuan went to the Huguo Police Station, where he was told that they could not deal with the matter. Yuan then went to the chengguan bureau for the Wuhua District, where he was told that they would only investigate if he provided photographs of him being beaten by chengguan.

"How can I obtain photographic evidence [of my beating] while I'm being beaten?" Yuan asked Shenghuo Xinbao.

Kunming's chengguan have a local reputation for frequently resorting to heavy handed tactics when dealing with street vendors and even registered businesses. Conflicts involving chengguan can also end up with chengguan suffering casualties. A chengguan was stabbed to death on Wenlin Jie in late 2005 while confiscating a tangerine vendor's cart.

In what may be an effort to improve the image of chengguan in Kunming, a "military-style" seven-day training program for thousands of chengguan around Kunming was launched on Sunday, according to a Yunnan Information News report.

Yang Zhaolin, an assistant chengguan captain, told the paper he was optimistic about the effect the training would have on Kunming's chengguan.

"I believe that later on, the team members who complete this training will definitely not enforce the law the way they wish to or enforce the law haphazardly, putting an end to any unhappiness that results from the process of law enforcement," Yang said.


After 7 years and 5 years continuous in China, there is something about the way things work here that pushes you to the breaking point. I am not a violent person, I am not one to react to quickly, lose my temper, or do things irrationally, but there is something here that builds up over time and feels like an unreasonable amount of pressure that weighs you down.

There is something about having everything out of your control, your business, your safety, your livelihood and your well-being that makes you want to snap sometimes.

There is something about people treating other people like animals (sometimes worse) and people in power abusing that power that makes you go absolutely crazy.

Its injustice and the sheer amount of it here pushes people to the edge. I admit even someone like myself. I understand why Chinese people sometimes lose it and do something they regret. It's not right but I understand. I feel that exact feeling growing consistently. It isn't one thing that does it; its hundreds of things that build up and give you an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness.

Maybe I am in a unique position or I see more injustice because of my role here, but there are times when I hold myself back from doing something I would definitely regret. Its the countless stories like this of someone being treated like crap and then told the only way they will get help is if they can produce photos of the attack, while being attacked. Its the "haves" taken advantage of the "have-nots."

Who will stand for the

have-nots

&

the broken

Who will speak up in defense of

the beat up

&

the unclothed

Who will give hope to

the helpless

Do not be fooled by those that say everything is well here because the economy is booming and the people are getting rich. There is still much left to be done.

An Eye Opening Read

Kindled my first e-book on my iphone and definitely a must read. Can't give you the name of the book or tell you what it was about but I will link you to Amazon so you can see for yourself.

You know you have been in China a long time when...

You travel 3 hours out of your way specifically to get here.

And some more similar thoughts from another expat...

1. The footprints on the toilet seat are your own.
2. You no longer wait in line, but go immediately to the head of the queue.
3. You stop at the top or bottom of an escalator to plan your day.
4. It becomes exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anyone can get off.
5. It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting.
6. You rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply "Up To You".
7. You no longer wonder how someone who earns US$ 400.00 per month can drive a Mercedes.
8. You accept the fact that you have to queue to get a number for the next queue.
9. You accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the car is "Broken" and that it will cost you a lot of money to get it "Fixed".
10. You find that it saves time to stand and retrieve your hand luggage while the plane is on final approach.
11. You can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on your trousers, or you have your suits made with terrycloth pockets.
12. A T-Bone steak with rice sounds just fine.
13. You believe everything you read in the local newspaper.
14. You regard traffic signals, stop signs, and copy watch peddlers with equal disdain.
15. You have developed an uncontrollable urge to follow people carrying small flags.
16. When listening to the pilot prove he cannot speak English, you no longer wonder if he can understand the air traffic controller.
17. You regard it as part of the adventure when the waiter correctly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different.
18. You have more knick-knacks than your grandmother.
19. You are not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb.
20. You understand all the above listed references.