The Standoff

Sometimes I wonder if sharing what really goes on here in China comes across as overly negative. But honestly doing business in China, especially in Kunming, fosters an overwhelming amount of crazy situations... most of them detrimental to running a successful business.

Evidence #5043 The Standoff

Purchased a new coffee roaster 6 weeks back and the delivery was made Friday night. Besides it being a few weeks late, totally expected, and it growing to a much larger size than advertised the roaster had finally arrived. The delivery company arrived with the roaster but instead of the team of deliverers that was promised only a man and his wife jumped out of the truck.

Now for those not in the coffee business, roasters are heavy duty pieces of equipment. A large commercial roaster is pounds and pounds of solid metal. The main unit on our new one is over 500 lbs. So its not molecular science but two people are not capable of moving it down off a 4 foot truck bed and then 50 feet into our location. Their explanation:

"its just the two of us because its your responsibility to have the people available to get this roaster off the truck"

Ahh yes. Nothing is more delightful than a complete change in what was promised. But without proper notice it is almost impossible to be prepared with 10 people to help move a roaster that late at night.

"ok well we've done our part of getting it here so we would like to be paid now and we will be on our way"

Besides the obvious complication of driving off before we can get the goods of the truck, we have the problem of a delivery company being satisfied with delivering it 80% of the way. I am not an employee of FedEx or UPS but I am pretty sure its standard procedure to put the goods into the care of the customer before leaving.

So we call the delivery company boss. We explain that they told us they would have 5 or 6 people come along to help deliver the machine. We need them to come back tomorrow when something can be arranged.

"Click"

The hang-up. All of my favorite customer service techniques are being used in full force. Chinese business people have no trouble hanging up on you. It saves them the trouble of explaining themselves or saying something like "we will take care of that for you." So here we are stuck in an Old Western style standoff. Their side not willing to budge or help at all and our side with no means of finding a solution to this quandary.

The delivery company asks for their money again.

So we decide to begin working our way out of this mess by inviting a nearby man, hailing from Sichuan province, to invite 7 of his friends to come move the roaster for a decent sum of money. One hour passes.

We get delivery company boss back on the phone to inquire about the fork lift that the driver said they used to get the roaster onto the truck that morning.

"It's too expensive"

I see. We put a call into the roaster manufacturer and find out that it would be dangerous to try to get the roaster off the truck without a fork lift. Back on with the delivery company boss.

"We didn't use a forklift. We did it with just 4 guys. Real easy."

Not true but oh well. "Water pipe Zhou", the old man with an adjacent Mahjong parlor who is constantly gargling his nicotine fix through his gigantic water pipe, chimes in.

"Back in the day, me and one other guy could have handled that roaster no problem"

Unless he was 350 lbs of pure physique back then instead of the 11o he is holding down now, then I have trouble seeing that as a possibility. Bless his heart though as he is always offering advice when I venture over there.

Another hour passes and the 8 Sichuan men arrive finally ready to help us out. The drivers once again asked to be paid immediately. They are informed that they will be paid but not until the goods are actually "delivered."

I can't describe that amazing feat that those 8 Sichuan men pulled off but here is a small glimpse of the easier final stretch of getting the machine all the way into the room after somehow slowly lowering it off the truck bed. Keep in mind that the moment the roaster was inches away from the truck bed the drivers began asking for money again ignoring the fact that I was a little preoccupied with whether or not my roaster was going to fall and put a dent in the earth.

After 4 hours the roaster was finally nestled away and most everyone went home happy.